How often have not articulated what you really thought in a situation because of some flavour of fear of being misunderstood.
It sounded like this in your head:
‘I didn’t want them to think…’
‘I didn’t want anyone to feel…’
‘I didn’t want to seem…’
You had something to say but your concern for how others would interpret or hear your message, stopped you.
You wanted to speak the message AND control how the message was received by your audience, but you didn’t know how to do this - because it’s not possible - so you held back your message.
Every person who hears your message hears it through their own filter - their views, their life experience, their relationship to you, how interested they are in what it is you’re talking about.
Every person who hears your message hears it slightly differently and always from their own perspective. Not yours.
Some people will hear your message exactly the way you want them to. Some of them will not.
You must be willing to let them be wrong about you.
Here’s what’s at stake if you don’t speak and let them be wrong about you:
You are wrong about you.
You want to speak your truth because that’s the kind of person you are, that’s the kind of leader you are.
If you’re not prepared to say it, well, you aren’t the person who thought you are.
So, what’s more important? What they think of you, or what you think of you?
You get to decide. And then speak your truth.
Let them be wrong about you so that you get to be right about you.
This doesn’t mean that you put on a bulletproof vest before stepping up and saying that thing you just have to say. We’ve all been on the receiving end of an emotional message that someone was white-knuckling their way through giving with a ‘I’m going to say this whether you like it or not attitude. Take that!’ attitude. It wasn’t pretty, either to give or receive that message.
Giving your message without respect for how it will be heard is not who you are when you step up to give your message. I’m guessing you are coming from respect, from empowerment, innovation, maybe. Your challenge is to frame your message with these attributes in mind, bringing all of the best of you to the message and the delivery.
Before stepping onto your stage, be it the stage of your kitchen table for an overdue one to one with your mother in law, or a packed boardroom, take time to think about who you most want to be, which qualities you most wish to have and do have when you’re at your best. Speak like that and with those attributes in mind.
It’s so easy to let others be wrong about you when you feel that good about how right you are about you.
Are you *almost* ready to step out as more of YOU but just not able to take the jump? I can help you! Message me for a free consultation today at firstname.lastname@example.org and in 45 minutes, you will be clearer about how to move forward.